wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
