i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
