He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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