if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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