Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
