is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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