I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
