i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
