is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
