...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
