How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There r osticjed everywhere
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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