Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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