Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
