I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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