Please, let me fuck your mom
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You have to summon your inner elephant
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
