the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
