No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
