Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
