So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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