I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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