She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize