it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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