he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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