Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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