I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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