Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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  (301): i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up http://tfl.nu/1cet
  Replies (29) Good night (4006) Bad night (1104)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!

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  (610): Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming! http://tfl.nu/wucs
  Replies (9) Good night (3081) Bad night (776)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

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  (508): You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life. http://tfl.nu/6ito
  Replies (10) Good night (1071) Bad night (2687)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

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  (440): Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue http://tfl.nu/47c2
  Replies (27) Good night (1365) Bad night (5100)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

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  (314): Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again http://tfl.nu/jwo1
  Replies (19) Good night (5720) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.

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  (617): i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here. http://tfl.nu/jd5o
  Replies (8) Good night (3441) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does

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  (239): Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does http://tfl.nu/6lq0
  Replies (6) Good night (2390) Bad night (970)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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  (413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n
  Replies (8) Good night (850) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work

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  (614): do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work http://tfl.nu/2knt
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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  (570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6
  Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

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  (705): There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!! http://tfl.nu/7xwk
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.

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  (209): He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well. http://tfl.nu/cgxn
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?

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  (423): Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail? http://tfl.nu/94aa
  Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..

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  (440): Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix.. http://tfl.nu/v9u4
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?

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  (812): Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album? http://tfl.nu/eoaf
  Replies (2) Good night (187) Bad night (205)

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