yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.