ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

  Fav 1 4149 1920

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up.  I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah...you probably will...

  (248): View more from Michigan

  well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.

  Fav 4 1214 1545

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

  Fav 177 5436 5279

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

  Fav 10 1335 2785

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

  Fav 20 2760 1215

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?

  Fav 66 6173 1240

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

  Fav 7 1154 3967

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

  Fav 2 2376 1154

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

  Fav 25 1936 3856

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

  Fav 3 1025 1243

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.

  Fav 4 731 502

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (226): View more from Ontario

  He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

  Fav 2 904 560

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

  Fav 7 1245 596

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.

  Fav 3 452 148

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.

  Fav 2 53 15

  share tweet
  

Randomize