Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's never too late to be topless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dating After Heartbreak
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same