brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.