I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
