hell yes lets make some ravioli
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
