I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm really busy with my period
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
