my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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