i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
