Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
