yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
