More tranny stories later!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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