We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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