Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
