I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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