I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
