i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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