we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize