Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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