Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
