If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
