Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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