how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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