I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
