New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize