i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
