Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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