Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
