She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
