I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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