Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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