i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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