bring money and cleavage
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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