I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
