so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
