her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
