it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
