She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
