New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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