I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
