Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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