omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
