This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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