So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize